reflections
February 2nd, 2013 O You’re one of THOSE

The Universe has opened to shower upon me the realities of enlightenment and empowerment. In what was one of the most difficult years of my life (along with 2010 and 2011) I grew the most as a person.
Conflict is never easy and it seems like the past three years has been overrun by it. I tried not counting the number of times I felt let down, shocked or surprised by someone or somebody. I even worked a great deal on finding the positive in EVERY situation. Then, in what became one of the greatest tests of my personal being, I found that once again, the ONLY person I have any control or influence over, truly is myself.
As a kid growing up we practiced loving others. Sometimes to an extent that I could not agree with.
No matter. My parents never coddled us into believe that the world revolved around us. They believed we made the world revolve and that the intentions of our actions would be the judge of our character.
Never have I been more appreciative of this than in 2010, 2011 and 2012.
Winter Solstice of 2012 took on a whole new meaning and just as I was beginning to grasp the concepts of what Winter Solstice meant to the ancients, I was challenged to change my own values and concepts and start fresh and new, whether I liked it or not.
The changes were good, I rolled with them and found that while I was taking steps toward change that may or may not be beneficial (at the tiem I didn’t know) that I had no other choice than to do so and hope for the best.
I think we all feel like that at times. Life has a habit of making us run and then…running us over.
I usually don’t like the process but this year I was keen on studying it, learning from it and trying to get along with it. Change is never easy.
Then came my intuitive pressure.
Was I right?
Was I overreacting?
Did I need to react so strongly and emotionally?
What if I hadn’t hidden what I was truly feeling or thinking?
You know the story. Life runs by you and you’re left second guessing if you made the right choice, said the right words or solved the right problem. Hopefully you didn’t create more.
In the past I’ve used mental visualization and psychological strength to gather my “dream team”. People I have little thought that I will meet in person one day, but people that I want to hold close to me so that I can learn and be a better person.
One of these people is Tony Robbins. Another is Lady GaGa….yes, Lady GaGa. I admire these people because they juggle their own teams and still manage to convey positive messages….for EVERYONE.
In what has been a roller coaster three year ride, I learned a great deal about myself and those around me.
In my quest to manage ONLY myself while supporting others, I learned that RAW and VEGAN doesn’t mean giving up things. In fact, I’ve added much to my diet and am healthier than I’ve been in years.
I learned that workaholic is a good thing, especially if you are juggling the care giving responsibilities of a loved one. GOD BLESS ALL CARE GIVERS!
Cursing works to relieve stress.
Exercise can be excessive and an overload so therefore it is OK to be a potato at heart sometimes.
Time isn’t slipping away. It has stretched itself in front of us so that we can learn to plan and set our goals better.
Positive thinking is a language that must be mastered.
Day dreaming isn’t being lazy. It’s an opportunity for the Universe to teach us.
I have quite a lot more ahead of me, but in the day to day trimmings of life, I’m proud when someone says, O You’re one of THOSE and then rolls their eyes at the fact that I meditate, eat right, exercise and stay available to my human counterparts.
Granola.
Tree Hugger.
Activist.
Executive.
Healer.
Teacher.
Politician.
Farmer.
Horse Crazy Person.
Woman.
Pick a label. Yes, I am one of THOSE.

January 15th, 2013 Question and Manifest

This week has been house keeping….and cleaning. The 2013 energy is already affecting me, pushing me to finish my book and get it into hard cover or downloadable as an ebook instead of the .pdf file its saved in now. Not only is the Universe pushing me, so are people that are close to me.
In a moment of inspiration and intuition, I received a much needed push from my Mom that has prompted me to renew my creative processes. I’ve pushed some of life’s distractions aside to meditate, create and form new, positive relationships with the here and now.
My motivation has improved. This has been a focus for me over the past six months. Last year at about this time I took two separate psychological evaluations to determine where I was on different levels of my being. My motivation surprisingly was on the lower end (although still accomplished) of the scale. This bothered me and I’ve spent this time trying to figure out WHY. Oh, I have plenty of reasons, events and details, but truly, none of these are the WHY my motivation has been so low. Everything else was quite high on the tests, showing that my coping skills are working fine, it’s just my motivation that’s tainted.
I suppose this can be explained away, or can it? This past week I’ve realized that my perfect plan isn’t perfect. It never will be. I’ve been able to set aside the executive in me (the one that’s a manager and attuned to detail and organization that lack of which drives me crazy) to clutter my thinking space with the radical idea that I can do what I do and not give a shit WHY or the outcome. I can do it for the sheer joy of doing it.
Since I’ve made this decision my mental processes have been unleashed. The dam has broken and my ideas are pouring forth faster than I can attend to them. This probably comes from the incredible control I’ve had to exercise while I’ve balanced a boat load of responsibilities.
These responsibilities are still there but since I’ve broken through my mental anxiety and fear of having to shoulder these under my self-perceived pretense that I cannot fail or else, I’ve begun to see things in a totally different light.
Like coming out of a fog I am seeing clearly for the first time that life, while it has a life of its own, isn’t predictable, controllable or even stable.
Security is a myth. A lie.
We can be young and virtually healthy and be struck by a catastrophic event or disease.
Our lives are fragile, so it begs the questions I’ve been asking myself all this past week….
What am I doing to live to the highest manifestation of my best self?

December 26th, 2012 The Kingdom of K

The world has a funny way of continuing to spin even though I beat my heels on the ground and demand justice and as a Taurus female, I can’t understand that. Even with a vast knowledge of the planets, their alignment, numerology and all of the other higher being tools beholden to me and a computer with internet access whose battery lasts a full eight hours. Amazing.
So, I’ve decided to, as usual, to take matters into my own hands. I’ve ceased to follow the rules and have started my revolt by developing my own language. This of course comes with a healthy amount of jaw setting. That’s all together necessary when one fiercely independent individual sets out to create an awakening and new revolt – er…result.
I’ve decided to come up with new words, spell them with hyphens and other emphasis if I want and that in the rules of this new language, it is ok for me to simply re-assign meaning to existing words or to create my own meaning. A sort of free form exercise that depends on my mood. This will be a random practice and I will be its ruler.
Fuck the world.
Now normally, the F bomb is a bad word. The F bomb combined with “the” and “world” denotes rebellion, a lack of respect.
In my world, F bomb the world is a joyous term. I run about saying the f word repetitively. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck, Fuck, Fuckity Fuck.
Because suddenly in the Kingdom of K, the F the world may mean to cover it in flowers, buy it a drink or just simply revere it as one would the Pope.
Fuck the world.
I like it already. My mood lifts immediately.
F the world means planting flowers, giving hugs and all manner of dancing.
F-UCK the world…this would mean a greater emphasis, like creating a F the world Holiday. One where time off was open ended. F’ing the world would be a good thing. Considered healthy and employers would embrace it much like maternity leave.
For instance, an employer might say – so and so is showing a bit of wear and tear. Let’s fuck them and give them some time off and let them decide when they are coming back to work.
F the world. It’s beginning to sound pretty good, huh?
Yes, I am liking this idea.
As the new year approaches, the Holiday, for me, has taken on new meaning as the power of life chugs on and leaves me in its dust.
I haven’t gotten used to the idea that my Mom died on Christmas eve. The second anniversary was tougher than the first. In part because the planets are dictating that my energy is very low until mid-month. I found that out using my amazing powers of computer search engine to try and define WHY I want to f the world.
It’s also possible that the contrast of my mood has been influenced by the fact that both of my sons are now grown and embarking on their own. This Christmas is the continued sense of elation knowing I have spent quality time with both of them and then knowing that the loss of my Mom parallels the knowing that I am going through every parent’s rite of passage and approaching the time of life when I will now lose my precious time with my boys. They are men now. The world is a changing and in the Kingdom of K, K can do nothing about that.
Time can’t be changed by vocabulary can.
F the world! In the Kingdom of K, it now it means that Peace is the world standard. My sons will be safe from all harm even though they’ve volunteered for service in the military.
F the world. Death doesn’t mean loss. It means rebirth and opportunity to grow and learn and be enlightened. It means embracing the pain of grief and turning it into action. Like bubbles rising in Champagne, so will we.
F the world. Yep. F the world!

December 19th, 2012 Wierd? No….FREE!

The cool of the night and the darkness of a room don’t scare me. People do. When once we relied on one another for peace, solace and companionship, now we brace ourselves for the parting of our ways and the end of each other’s company.
What happened to the human ideal?
We don’t see this behavior perpetuated in horse herds, or prides of lions.
The black widow kills its mate and we marvel. The stuff of legends. But humans regularly harpoon each other’s hearts and whisper great joy to others over their kill.
I am sick of it.
It isn’t hard to be decent.
It isn’t hard to be kind.
Why is it so hard for people to unite, combine energies and co-habitate?
Co-creation. An idea thousands of years old and we crow the word like it originated from the Sun yesterday.
A great watcher and observer of people I am. Then nature. Glorious in its beauty and purity and wounded by our callouse desire of selfish pursuits.
I read the contrast.
National Geographic magazine shouts war, famine, oil reserves in peril, global warming and other horrors. Yet we don’t listen.
Small beacons of light appear as people observe their roots and combine effort to bring back the green upon the Earth. Mother Earth. Nature’s milk. A sea of bounty of our own creation.
Some call it holistic. Others granola. But the intent is the same.
Beauty, love, compassion can be rained upon anything, anyone and the result be peace, joy and harmony.
The rules are simple, yet the mind dense, dull.
Because of the struggle, we seek maturation. The exposure of the senses so that we may marvel, speak and grow in awe of the Universe.
Some will see. Some will not. Most will want.
I taste of the dew, the morning mist be great and wake.
A moment of pure solitude, liking my own company. I won’t be late.

December 17th, 2012 In the Company of Green

Ok, so I know its almost 2:00 a.m. but the purpose of enlightenment is keeping me awake. I finally got to watch the moving about Timothy Green. I knew a movie about a kid that turns up on the doorstep of a childless couple (the Green’s) with leaves growing from his legs was a sure fire winner. I was right. After having my eyes opened and the veil lifted on my unwavering consciousness this past year the movie did not disappoint. I think my favorite part was the contrast of the couple’s child rearing ways against the stark reality of normal disciplines and stereotypes. Never one for those, the movie…well….moved me!
This past year has been one of complete and total transformation for me. Where once the pursuit of the almighty dollar was purposeful, I instead am in pursuit of the perfect tree to lay down under whilst I download the manifestations of the Universe. Today I hurredly opened my email to watch ten minutes of a thirty minute video sent to me by one of my enlightened friends on the insights of a true Mayan man who explains his people’s involvement with the earth, energy and science. I am still carving out the additional twenty minutes to watch the rest of this interesting video.
And so goes life. A valiant struggle between the motivations of one connected to the Universe and the stark reality that to survive today’s struggles, one must make money when one really only wants to lay down in the sun and take a long lost nap!
Like the Timothy Green in the movie, I throw my arms wide and bask gloriously in the sun, oblivious to the whisperings that I should be getting work done.
But how does one balance the push for greater good while balancing the tremendous burden of what a purpose like that costs? To clarify, my “that” is to change the world and usher in a paradigm shift of the way people see themselves and their Universe around them. My vehicle and helper? The horse.
I used to think that if I worked my butt off that sooner or later the glory of a job well done would be rewarded. But I am beginning to believe differently. Don’t get me wrong. I am not complaining….well, yeah, I sorta am. I would like to see the ultimate dream manifested truthfully because then I could say I am done with my job here, lay down this heavy burden, and like Timothy Green, fade on with the right time of Season. That would be glorious. But life doesn’t work that way. It makes you work for it and the more you seek, the more you will learn and like a hamster on its wheel, I religiously seek these struggles and spit, whine and toil my way through for the morsel of the moment of truth when the realizations of lessons that come with these struggles bring themselves brilliantly to the surface of my life, illuminating my conscious and raising my awareness. Refreshing!
This past several months I’ve struggled deeply with my purpose and the fact I KNOW I can’t achieve it ALL on my own. It would be easier if I could. But I must rely on a team of people to help make that happen. People, who like me, believe in a greater good. A higher calling. That we really can change the world for the better.
I don’t count on betrayal. Lies. Sloth. Theft or malevolence. These things wound me deeper than can be expressed. Like dark clouds rolling over the cliffs of mountains my mood turns dark for days and I struggle with the unhealthy murmurs of stress upon my heart felt emotions and health.

A psychic friend warned me of these days. He said I must meditate daily. At the same time preferably, and jot down my meditations.
Perhaps that is why I am still wide awake at 2 a.m. despite the fact I only had 4 hours of restless sleep the night before. I’ve allowed this energy to build up and now I must purge. You unlucky souls. I apologize ahead of time that my blog is backed up and my emotions once dammed up, now burst forward onto the page. Then again, I think that my blog must be two people strong in following, so Rita and Kim, I know you understand, but apologize anyway. LOL
Many questions are being hammered at me cosmically. All demanding equally of my energy, focus and time. It’s maddening. Where are those quiet days I spent lolling with my horse on the open green pasture of a warm Montana summer?
O yeah! Like the Timothy Green in the movie, they are always there. I just have to welcome them!

October 30th, 2012 Head Above Water

Blank pages have never scared me. I’ve never suffered writers block. Every damn thought in my head ends up on paper sooner or later! In high school I dominated the journalism class by pouring our article after article…and being told brevity, brevity, brevity!
Somehow that skill eluded me until such time as life’s pressures have conditioned me to create brevity, brevity, brevity so that I can finish even the smallest of projects before the tidal wave of life rolls over me again.
Storms come and go in life but someone the big storm Sandy has touched a raw nerve. Mostly because I see so many parallels with my own life. Infrastructure. Hard work. Planning. Execution. Build, build, build. And one little storm can blow it all down. Kinda makes you feel small in the grand scheme of things.
This past week I have been mindfully paying attention to my health (because my horoscope said to) and pounding away at a project that is literally the life or death of our company.
Why o why do I allow myself to get backed into a corner before I act? I tolerate working best under pressure, then back up, do it all over again, and celebrate that I work best under pressure.
Truthfully, it stinks. Or does it?
This past week I’ve been constantly reminded to be thankful. For even the smallest of things!
“Your life as a number 8 (the executive) plus Saturn in your sign predisposes you to work harder than usual.” Was my big piece of enlightening encouragement this week.
For those new to numerology, I have all of the classic, Uh OH’s. I am an executive and workaholic but crave serenity through nature and animals and the two do battle as I try to balance harmony and tranquility with utter madness toward success. Whew. Makes me tired just typing it.
Knowing one’s self is a gift I guess. Knowing those around you too.
When the proverbial shit hits the fan you can choose to bring out the weaker side of your personality or exercise the one that’s seeking enlightenment and truth. This week I’ve had ample opportunity to do both. I remain consistently attached to imagining that I can get away with blaming others for that opportunity. Somehow though, the requirement to be responsible for me and my team though, pulls me out of my euphoria and brow beats me into the submissive reality that I am no different than anyone else so if I want to get something accomplished, I have to stick to doing it on my own as best as I can, one step at a time, no matter what the outcome might be.
You see, that’s the singular focus most forget. We are really only responsible for ourselves. That is not to say that we should be selfish in our intent. No. As life hands us complications, we should take care of ourselves responsibly understanding that our action affect more than just ourselves.
In this sad time of catastrophe I am reminded how trivial it is to seek our fortunes when the realness of life is that we are truly here to serve one another.
Of course, I can’t help but draw parallels to the rising tide of Hurricane Sandy on the East coast that to do so is at the risk of keeping our heads above water.
Yes, I know. Like the floods hitting the shores of the East Coast, my writing too is a little deep. Bear with me. Like the water washes clean the land so my writing washes away the jumble of worry in my mind as I work through this crazy sexy thing called life.

October 16th, 2012 RELOAD

Inspiration finds me in the weakest of my hours and raps on the door to my consciousness.
Today and most days I am forced to review my intentions. Today was no different.
What is it that drives me to obsess with my own well-being and that of others?
This week’s been an emotional struggle and one that has brought me to tears and fits of wailing for my long passed Mother (who was always ready for my childish outbursts with words og wisdom and infinite love). And then finally, a review of a reading I had with a psychic almost two years ago. Thank goodness he digitally captured the words of my guides for me.
As I listened to my reading I was amazed at how the guidance of two years ago was still so relevant!
A search through my horoscope and internet crumbs of insight and inspiration and I was still grappling with my demons.
It seems that no favoritism is shown even for those who are seeking enlightenment and yet, somehow it still comforted me to know that at least in my awareness that my purpose was sincere.
I reviewed the months of my year and found that yes, my role must be less the healer for a little while and much that of one who seeks healing.
So much has happened in both my life and those of my loved ones around me.
A perfect example was an interaction with a long lost acquaintance whose chance meeting didn’t go as well as I had expected.
Where or where does our innocence go when we aren’t being watchful and vigilant?
A desperate feeling of sorrow washes over me.
We are designed to love and yet, we are incapable of providing all of the love we need on our own.
Why?
Wouldn’t it be simpler if we could?
I reflected on a manuscript. One I wrote. And traveled back to the time when in a cathartic two week sabbatical I pounded out the spirit of my life’s lessons and called it my book.
And then realized that love sometimes isn’t defined in our own interpretation.
The book was a product of sacrifice.
Not mine.
I had to leave my station in life to work on the book. A process I found extremely profound and enjoyable at the time.
That didn’t happen without support. Someone else had to feed the animals. Take care of the bills. Battle on with life as I checked out momentarily to pursue a dream to educate in one of the oldest known ways. By writing.
So here I am again, reflecting on the need to purge through the written word and remaining vigilant to embracing only the positive and not the negatives of the rawness of human emotion.
And remembering a lesson I learned in the passion of a near death experience….
That we must be light. And lLove. And truth. Even if the world reflected around us in anything but.

April 13th, 2012 If Life Came With a Remote Control

Pause…my favorite command because it gives us the room to expand. If life came with a remote control this would be my favorite button.
The other day Kirk and I completed the end of a long day with a visit to a family whose love for a huge horse has brought them through the past seven years of their lives with more questions than answers. At least, that is what they thought.
Kirk first trimmed the big guy about a month ago and as he put it, “we were mildly successful.”
Kirk made headway as he always does because he is infinitely patient and told the owners they may want to consult me to find out what is ailing the horse.
He has improved in the seven years they’ve owned him but he is still unpredictable and explosively mistrusting. That’s a hard one on a 2500 lb horse!
We entered the barn and Mr. Draft exploded out of the doors of the stall. I noticed that ALL of the barn doors stood wide open. His explosive nature was probably the reason why I mused.
Kirk entered the stall and the big horse grew bigger, his neck arching and his nostrils flared.
“Stop!” I commanded.
“Turn around immediately.” I said.
Kirk had passed the horses tolerance threshold.
The horse wasn’t mean or aggressive, but he was defensive and he conveyed to me immediately that HE was not going to be judged for his shortcomings.
I immediately received a picture of him as a youngster, smaller than all the rest, and a line up of men in uniforms looking the herd of youngsters over, commenting on his faults.
His owners shared with me the horse had come from the Amish.
The serious about draft horse people have standards and this wasn’t the first time I’d met a draft gelding with a chip on its shoulder because people never seemed to appreciate them for just what they are.
“He’s not big enough.”
“He’s not flashy enough.”
“He has no mass.”
These are all criticisms that the horse had learned to hear.
I will repeat that.
These are all criticisms that the horse had learned to hear.
Like humans, horses are subject to definition. Tell a human they are substandard long enough and they will believe they are substandard.
Men had guaged this horse and Kirk was a man.
I instructed Kirk to back away and to stand facing away to the wall. The horse softened and then blew. He arched his neck out and gently touched Kirk on the back. It took a few minutes but the communication had been made.
Kirk had paused.
The horse responded.
Over the course of our visit we learned that the big horse had indeed had a past sketched with disappointment. He had been sold by the Amish, a driving horse with flighty tendencies.
He flunked out of one home after the other until this one had decided to give him a chance.
I took over working with him as he opened up to me about his childhood and how he had been made to believe he wasn’t worthy of an opinion because of his lack of stature and presence in comparison to his peers.
This had gently eroded his confidence until he had no choice but to put his decisions together alone, in solitude and safety.
He had a tremendous amount of stress around his head and neck and he shared with me that because Amish choose only large work horses as their favorites that he had been worked tirelessly with ill fitting equipment. They knew he was to be sold sooner or later so very little time was spent on his actual comfort during training.
When it came time to trim his hooves though he gladly presented them.
A young Amish boy he said had been apprenticed to work as a farrier and the young boy had taken pride in training a second rate horse into a first rate farrier’s dream.
I laughed out loud because he was so communicative and even covered the issues of human relationships and his anxiety over being sold again.
Yes, the people had discussed this. He had been bought by the people for their daughter and she was going to college and could not take him with her.
They had another horse she played with regularly.
Mr. Draft knew nothing of the games and found them entirely too stimulating to relate to so he’d remained on the sidelines, content in his solitude.
Next, in a spew of images, he pointed out that need for communication for the girls Mother loved him and actually had bonded deeply with him. she wasn’t a horse person and doubted her abilities.
Further, there were communication issues that she had experienced with other loved ones and certainly owning a horse she had no business having woudl complicate that, wouldn’t it?
The horse shared some private family information and in several minutes had unraveled a mystery and prompted a conversation that led to some very lively discussion about not only his future but the future of the family as well!
It was fascinating to convey the messages from a horse nobody had understood in such a way that he made EVERYBODY understand!
Truly amazing and one of the most profound readings I’ve ever had.
His manner was so gentle, yet so wise and it was without any restriction that I began to work on him and even move quickly, trimming then rasping his hooves, he stood rock solid, something they said he never did!
I could only think that he did so because he had a bridge of communication allowing him to share the reasons he had hid in his shell. Sometimes this happens. Horses completely closed from human contact will go to great lengths to shield themselves, then in an instant, become soft and pliable, punctuating their gentle compliances with soft eyes and relaxed muscles.
Mr. Draft certainly did and it caught everyone’s attention. His quiet behavior was uncharacteristic. And finally, his actions were understood. Understood as a beacon we should never be prejudiced and more, gentle in our love so as to open the spirit and give one reason to trust.

March 26th, 2012 Aemelie

How can a horse give you so many blessings in such a short amount of time? As Aemelie lay sleeping in the pasture I approached her and asked to enter her space. She accepted without a fuss and we lay together. I stroking her silky neck and leg and she snuffling my arm and leg with her lips. We lay there, completely at rest and peace and entertwined in one another’s thoughts. I had not seen Aemelie in two months, so this given time was precious, for both of us. Aemelie embraced me and fiercely laid back her ears at Crockett who had come over for a pet too. Aemelie wasn’t sharing me. She bobbed her head and Crockett backed off, his good natured feelings obviously hurt.
I used to scold Aemelie for such behavior but this time I let it pass and we continued to soak up the sun together, both of us with our eyes closed and then it happened.
Aemelie gifted me with a vision of us riding together sans equipment, in utter contentment and perfect harmony. She often does this in my dreams, visiting me with love, grace and openness. I call her an Angel because she obviously is one in the truest sense.
I visualized our being one and was thrilled. I’ve experienced this very same thing, open and awake, but this was just a “dream” or was it?
Aemelie is my guide in life. Whenever I am unsettled, unsure or upset, she comforts me. She seeks me out singularly, without fanfare and holds herself near me, a physical barrier between me and the world.
As my life unfolds and I experience the frustrations that everyone faces, I am extremely grateful for her friendship and her reverence and respect for our relationship. Aemelie is ethereal. She is present exactly when she needs to be and her presence in my life is unmistakably grand.
Today, a video was shared on my facebook page that literally asks a question I’ve asked myself many times. It’s an important question and one Aemelie has helped me with. As a sounding board for my emotions she has inspired, comforted me and yes, scolded me too. She is the guardian of my humility. As I lay with her I had even asked myself this question. The question is:
“If your life were a book, and you were its author, how would your story go?”

http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_purdy_living_beyond_limits.html?source=email#.T2U24ceZcWh.email

I watched the video and sat amazed. I envisioned all of my gifts and the blessings I’ve had. The places I have been and the goodness I have known. And the hardships I have experienced that cannot compare to others’ suffering. I felt grateful and renewed. And know that in my life…
My life definitely will include more sunny soft mornings in the sunshine laying in the pasture with my horse!

March 12th, 2012 WTF?

I laughed so hard today because I am getting response from my last posting…like I knew I would, to the effect of WTF?
I knew that my post would be “out there”. I was designed to be.
You see, in posting to my blog I ‘ve realized humbly that people read it to get insight to themselves and their horses. My life will be complete when I have delivered my message in such a way as to usher in the paradigm shift I desire for humans and horses. To accomplish this, I have to dig at the very roots of how people have been raised, their current environment and the projections of their goals, aspirations and dreams.  The experience we have in front of us with hores is nothing less than etherial.  Perhaps because it is my passion and my emotions are involved I am overly tuned to this need but whatever it is, I cannot ignore it. Everything else that comes in between is just a chore, a drain and a distraction, yet often necessary as a given result of my choices, my obligations and the very core of survival. However, said, its simple; Connecting with hores begins with connecting with yourself and ultimately, a power higher than ours.
This past year I read my horoscope with relish because this is my year to explore higher enlightenments, new ideas, theories and to challenge old belief systems. If ever there was a prophecy, this is one.
I have always felt connected to my Universe in ways that most people can’t comprehend. It’s like having energy bolts run through you and information coming to you that nobody but yourself can understand. Great composers of music have often described “hearing” the music even before they put it on paper. It’s the same with me and horses.  I have realizations and observations not yet even realized in our literature. Imgagine then, how frustrating it is for me not to be able to fully details these things for myself.  I have written dozens of books in my head, composed hundreds of videos and launched hundreds of demonstrations virtually but have not physical proof or very little of any of these.  Why? Because I must learn new programs, software, rely on others who are experts (pay them) and feed myself, my animals, take care of a host of 1 million things that need attending to every day.  Is this an evil plot? Or simply the manufacture of life that makes us who we ultimately are?
Sometimes the realization of all of t his that has left me feeling alone and at other times, sacred, unique and wholly accepted for what I am. The master of my end and brick layer of my destiny. Demonstrating these revelations has been my only outlet of contentment as I work within the stars opening and forging “old” ways of being able to communicate.
I say “old” because I am inventing nothing new. I am simply directing what we are as humans. Our purest essence. With or without horses, although I am glad that in my calling, it is “with”.
My growing up was unusual. My parents belonged to a church commune and we, as a group raised cattle, wheat, gardens, goats, chickens, etc. I grew up in a lovely valley that at one time was owned by my great-grandfather and seemed miles away from everyone and everything. That gave me a great deal of latitude to connect to my environment. In so doing, channels of spritual knowledge evolved.  It was a time of nurturing and growth of a mind that would learn to channel life lessons.  Lessons given in the rays of the sun, through the water, grass, trees and environment.  A pure transaction of all that we are connected to as Man. It would only be later that I would be corrupted by an outside world.  A world that would be invited into my life on the premise of “love”. You see, our communce accepted outsiders and then, with them came the evils of the world where I would experience judgement, redicule and other atrocities that would take years for me to work through. The Earth gave me itself and then when that wasn’t enough, its horses to teach me, guide me and ultimately to help others in this journey too.

At forty one years, I’ve seen the workings of the world.  I prefer my workings to be connected in nature.
In the book series, Anastasia, www.ringingcedars.com, this was the VERY FIRST TIME I had a good explanation of why I am who I am and feel like I do. I realized that unlike the worldly explanation that my gifts with horses are just “freakish” or my insight to better awareness and self improvement “high browed”, I realized and embraced that THIS IS WHAT I AM SUPPOSED TO BE BECAUSE THIS IS WHO I WAS CREATED TO BE!
I am so connected to the equine world that I can literally “see”, “smell”, “taste”, and “feel” them and their emotions. Most people cannot say this but when you speak to children, they say it all of the time.  They haven’t lost their belief system. I hung on to it somehow.  I had to.
I’ve been labeled “a witch”. I’ve been told my dreams to share this gift with others is impossible, and I’ve doubted myself when others have doubted me. But I am so connected to whatever it is that is speaking to me in the mist that I can never abadon or ignore it.
I realize fully that my fear of never accomplishing my goals is unfounded. Its already been completed, it just hasn’t happened yet. In fact, this very fear is what is keeping me from achieving more.
The post I wrote titled, ENLIGHTENMENT, is about tapping into the very powers of the Universe around us to inspire us, enlighten us and cause us to be aware of the immense powers that we have helping us. To question the hard belief system we get preached to us every day. To think outside of the box, with our energy, not our logic. That as a chosen species we are in command of the essence of ourselves and others.
You see, I have always believed that horses are here not to be taught by us but to be teachers of us. I have watched them in so many ways exercise patience and even discipline upon man. I have also become aware of their longing to teach more of us faster. This picked up my enthusiasm seeing this trend. What is coming that we need to be more aware of? Man is being given a choice.
I’ve been working with horses for over 25 years now and I can honestly say that I’ve not repeated or exercised repetitition, EVER. Following the horses, they are leading us on an adventure that is pure, simple and breathtaking.
The key to tuning into that is to tune into the essence, even the smallest, slightest part, of your environment. That’s our homework before we even begin our journies with these magnificent creatures.
Mankind has lost its awareness of the buzzing of the energy that surrounds us every day and makes all things possible. Horses have not. I seen this manifested every day during communications with humans and horses.
So often we look to our horses as our outlet, our emotional stabilizer to be able to cope with work, friends, family or a number of other offenses. The lesson here is to also learn to lean on other things in our environments too and to accept that its ALL connected.
My questioning of the trees was my experiment with this and I found the experience unbelievably moving, my spirit was stirred. I encourage you to do the same. Find a place to lay in the sun, observe the trees, grass or whatever else catches your fancy and listen to the humming of our Universe and all that it has to offer and see if that doesn’t produce a mind blowing shift in your relationship with yourself and your horse. In the very least, its a good exercise in meditation and an opening of the intuitive nature that we all possess.