reflections
June 25th, 2013 INTENTION

What clarity we receive when at least we slow down long enough to enjoy the rising of the sun or the setting. Sometimes full sun upon the body is what is required to rest the soul and quiet the mind. I’ve done neither for some time but recent events in my life have forced me to the natural state of contemplation and the guidance of others as well as literature for the direction of the path I must walk.
Health crisis is nothing new to me, although I have enjoyed wonderful health, those times when I have had to face it the threat has been serious enough to be life threatening. I guess that alone should tell me something.
This process started two and a half years ago with my decision to move North to Idaho to care for my Grandfather after the death of my Mother. It wasn’t so much a decision as the decision was made for me, uprooting me into something that has been both wonderful and terrifying, gut wrenching and life changing, exhilarating and joyful all at the same time.
Perhaps I should be thankful that this process of life is so delicious that I get to experience each and every emotion all at once. But it doesn’t feel that way sometimes.
Of late I have been on a dedicated quest to find the balance between the gifts I have been given and the path that I must tread to protect my family, our resources and build on the ones that we have and also, to keep them.
I do so realizing there are more important things in life than money, fame, power or good luck, although those things are wonderful. But my Mom’s passing taught me that sometimes the best you can do for your family and loved ones is to not only be authentic and true to your highest being but also to preserve a legacy and leave behind the mementos of the love and care you felt for those around you.
Such was the power of the gifts she left me and still does.
I’ve been forced lately to realize lately that not everyone shares my vision, or quest or my assumed clarity of what goes on between the spiritual and emotional energetic realms and reality. I have walked that line for ages is seems. Some people just have baggage. Garbage that no matter how many times they walk past it they cannot get rid of.
I too, am one of those people.
My skin broke out months ago as I began a quest to detox. After nearly bleeding to death and collapsing from exhaustion and dehydration brought about by my insatiable desire to work myself into a more comfortable financial position, I realized that you can detox your body with action (I choose to juice and eat organic and have renounced sugar, processes grains and all manner of junk food – ok out there, those of you who have witnessed my occasional piece of pizza and ice cream! I confess I am not perfect!) but you must also detox with spirit, mind and energy.
Reflecting on some recent events where proof once again of my visionary pursuits is in full view of the skeptics I realized that there is also more. Not only must ones environment possess the attributes of desire, calm and intention, pure and in love with the outcome, so must those you work with along the way if they are the intimate souls with which you partner.
I realized we all have that garbage – layers of it – and that no amount of example can prompt someone to “get it”. They have to “get it” on their own. But at what price to the teacher?
As my skin has cleared and taken on a new and healthier glow, the shedding layers are but symbols of the layers of emotional doubt I’ve carried and reflective of the vivid dream I had the other night where I was sheparding my youngest son through a foreign country. It was Mexico in my dream and I instantly realized why Mexico. I’ve spent some hours there, have an interest in the language, and am familiar enough not to be afraid, but do not know the customs or language well enough to be comfortable.
As I woke I realized that this is a lot like the business transactions I am currently in. They mean more than the financial reward. Like my Mother leaving us her peaceful ranch, my Grandfather paving the way, the torch being passed to me, the only child to stay bravely in agriculture and face its wicked wrath and sweet caress of a summer morning where the cows drink water and moo low, satisfied. A hawk takes wing as the bees work their comb and the horses rest upon green grass.
Two halves of a whole that when one is passionate about the same can wield a sword of emotional whoop ass while at the same time consoling and changing the souls body chemistry so that all one wants is to stay in it a minute longer.
Like my dream of Mexico this world I am traversing is both comfortable and familiar and all at the same time foreign and yet I must guide this business transaction with the love that I would show my young son.
He is now 19, on his own, independent and strong but doesn’t that say something about the one half of the whole that raised him? I succeeded. Not once, but TWICE! Both of my boys are men to be proud of. I am past the horrible tastes of fear one goes through as a parent when they question their choices.
A tarot reading and clearing ceremony of late on the full moon of summer solstice bolstered my resolve and erased my doubt and…no doubt gave way to the torrent of emotion and angry guidance I gave recently to the most stubborn of my students. He shall remain nameless.
Sometimes the biggest lessons we learn are from those that not only challenge us in their helping but also remind us that even if we are not in agreement that at the very least we have the next morning to rise and greet the sun, alone and in meditation, open to the Universe and its messages, unencumbered.
I’ve learned to protect those times. NO TRESSPASSING!
Perhaps no matter how far our paths take us the key is to be open to the messages but knowing when to quit parroting them to those that don’t hear and just move on. Restoring the peace and opening the door for them to learn from the Great Spirit who brought us here in the first place.
For me that door opened with my Mom’s passing. What joyously magnificent and torturous events have evolved to give opportunity as well as take away. How much of these events are a direct reflection of our thought? Our inner demons at play while we dance another tune for others? Or in our honesty, embrace because we haven’t intentioned a different path?
If anything, I’ve learned that when there is recognition of the garbage, take it and get rid of it, cleanse and purge and then, forgive those that can’t and move on.
The wild rose will find all manner of soil to grow. I know. I have one sprouting in the front yard.
Wild roses were my Mom’s symbol. I learned to love them from her. They are everywhere on our l and in Idaho. She would say, “the tree can find what it needs to grow from nothing but stone where no manner of life should be able to survive and so is the wild rose, finding its home wherever it is, and thriving there for our enjoyment.”
Wise words from my Mother, the Sage. Still guiding me, this little wild rose sprouting in my path is but symbolic that like the examples before me, what I ultimately know within my heart and spirit is that we must not exist from a place of fear or lack, but one of childlike joy, open to the guidance of our loving Spirit and the nurturing of what comes with intuitive quiet, meditation, contemplation and action. And so is the manner of life, all at once quiet when necessary and requiring action from us to move it forward, realizing that the outcome will be, not matter what the additions and that in our quest, our strength is only as good as what’s inside of us.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.