reflections
December 26th, 2012 The Kingdom of K

The world has a funny way of continuing to spin even though I beat my heels on the ground and demand justice and as a Taurus female, I can’t understand that. Even with a vast knowledge of the planets, their alignment, numerology and all of the other higher being tools beholden to me and a computer with internet access whose battery lasts a full eight hours. Amazing.
So, I’ve decided to, as usual, to take matters into my own hands. I’ve ceased to follow the rules and have started my revolt by developing my own language. This of course comes with a healthy amount of jaw setting. That’s all together necessary when one fiercely independent individual sets out to create an awakening and new revolt – er…result.
I’ve decided to come up with new words, spell them with hyphens and other emphasis if I want and that in the rules of this new language, it is ok for me to simply re-assign meaning to existing words or to create my own meaning. A sort of free form exercise that depends on my mood. This will be a random practice and I will be its ruler.
Fuck the world.
Now normally, the F bomb is a bad word. The F bomb combined with “the” and “world” denotes rebellion, a lack of respect.
In my world, F bomb the world is a joyous term. I run about saying the f word repetitively. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck, Fuck, Fuckity Fuck.
Because suddenly in the Kingdom of K, the F the world may mean to cover it in flowers, buy it a drink or just simply revere it as one would the Pope.
Fuck the world.
I like it already. My mood lifts immediately.
F the world means planting flowers, giving hugs and all manner of dancing.
F-UCK the world…this would mean a greater emphasis, like creating a F the world Holiday. One where time off was open ended. F’ing the world would be a good thing. Considered healthy and employers would embrace it much like maternity leave.
For instance, an employer might say – so and so is showing a bit of wear and tear. Let’s fuck them and give them some time off and let them decide when they are coming back to work.
F the world. It’s beginning to sound pretty good, huh?
Yes, I am liking this idea.
As the new year approaches, the Holiday, for me, has taken on new meaning as the power of life chugs on and leaves me in its dust.
I haven’t gotten used to the idea that my Mom died on Christmas eve. The second anniversary was tougher than the first. In part because the planets are dictating that my energy is very low until mid-month. I found that out using my amazing powers of computer search engine to try and define WHY I want to f the world.
It’s also possible that the contrast of my mood has been influenced by the fact that both of my sons are now grown and embarking on their own. This Christmas is the continued sense of elation knowing I have spent quality time with both of them and then knowing that the loss of my Mom parallels the knowing that I am going through every parent’s rite of passage and approaching the time of life when I will now lose my precious time with my boys. They are men now. The world is a changing and in the Kingdom of K, K can do nothing about that.
Time can’t be changed by vocabulary can.
F the world! In the Kingdom of K, it now it means that Peace is the world standard. My sons will be safe from all harm even though they’ve volunteered for service in the military.
F the world. Death doesn’t mean loss. It means rebirth and opportunity to grow and learn and be enlightened. It means embracing the pain of grief and turning it into action. Like bubbles rising in Champagne, so will we.
F the world. Yep. F the world!

December 19th, 2012 Wierd? No….FREE!

The cool of the night and the darkness of a room don’t scare me. People do. When once we relied on one another for peace, solace and companionship, now we brace ourselves for the parting of our ways and the end of each other’s company.
What happened to the human ideal?
We don’t see this behavior perpetuated in horse herds, or prides of lions.
The black widow kills its mate and we marvel. The stuff of legends. But humans regularly harpoon each other’s hearts and whisper great joy to others over their kill.
I am sick of it.
It isn’t hard to be decent.
It isn’t hard to be kind.
Why is it so hard for people to unite, combine energies and co-habitate?
Co-creation. An idea thousands of years old and we crow the word like it originated from the Sun yesterday.
A great watcher and observer of people I am. Then nature. Glorious in its beauty and purity and wounded by our callouse desire of selfish pursuits.
I read the contrast.
National Geographic magazine shouts war, famine, oil reserves in peril, global warming and other horrors. Yet we don’t listen.
Small beacons of light appear as people observe their roots and combine effort to bring back the green upon the Earth. Mother Earth. Nature’s milk. A sea of bounty of our own creation.
Some call it holistic. Others granola. But the intent is the same.
Beauty, love, compassion can be rained upon anything, anyone and the result be peace, joy and harmony.
The rules are simple, yet the mind dense, dull.
Because of the struggle, we seek maturation. The exposure of the senses so that we may marvel, speak and grow in awe of the Universe.
Some will see. Some will not. Most will want.
I taste of the dew, the morning mist be great and wake.
A moment of pure solitude, liking my own company. I won’t be late.

December 17th, 2012 In the Company of Green

Ok, so I know its almost 2:00 a.m. but the purpose of enlightenment is keeping me awake. I finally got to watch the moving about Timothy Green. I knew a movie about a kid that turns up on the doorstep of a childless couple (the Green’s) with leaves growing from his legs was a sure fire winner. I was right. After having my eyes opened and the veil lifted on my unwavering consciousness this past year the movie did not disappoint. I think my favorite part was the contrast of the couple’s child rearing ways against the stark reality of normal disciplines and stereotypes. Never one for those, the movie…well….moved me!
This past year has been one of complete and total transformation for me. Where once the pursuit of the almighty dollar was purposeful, I instead am in pursuit of the perfect tree to lay down under whilst I download the manifestations of the Universe. Today I hurredly opened my email to watch ten minutes of a thirty minute video sent to me by one of my enlightened friends on the insights of a true Mayan man who explains his people’s involvement with the earth, energy and science. I am still carving out the additional twenty minutes to watch the rest of this interesting video.
And so goes life. A valiant struggle between the motivations of one connected to the Universe and the stark reality that to survive today’s struggles, one must make money when one really only wants to lay down in the sun and take a long lost nap!
Like the Timothy Green in the movie, I throw my arms wide and bask gloriously in the sun, oblivious to the whisperings that I should be getting work done.
But how does one balance the push for greater good while balancing the tremendous burden of what a purpose like that costs? To clarify, my “that” is to change the world and usher in a paradigm shift of the way people see themselves and their Universe around them. My vehicle and helper? The horse.
I used to think that if I worked my butt off that sooner or later the glory of a job well done would be rewarded. But I am beginning to believe differently. Don’t get me wrong. I am not complaining….well, yeah, I sorta am. I would like to see the ultimate dream manifested truthfully because then I could say I am done with my job here, lay down this heavy burden, and like Timothy Green, fade on with the right time of Season. That would be glorious. But life doesn’t work that way. It makes you work for it and the more you seek, the more you will learn and like a hamster on its wheel, I religiously seek these struggles and spit, whine and toil my way through for the morsel of the moment of truth when the realizations of lessons that come with these struggles bring themselves brilliantly to the surface of my life, illuminating my conscious and raising my awareness. Refreshing!
This past several months I’ve struggled deeply with my purpose and the fact I KNOW I can’t achieve it ALL on my own. It would be easier if I could. But I must rely on a team of people to help make that happen. People, who like me, believe in a greater good. A higher calling. That we really can change the world for the better.
I don’t count on betrayal. Lies. Sloth. Theft or malevolence. These things wound me deeper than can be expressed. Like dark clouds rolling over the cliffs of mountains my mood turns dark for days and I struggle with the unhealthy murmurs of stress upon my heart felt emotions and health.

A psychic friend warned me of these days. He said I must meditate daily. At the same time preferably, and jot down my meditations.
Perhaps that is why I am still wide awake at 2 a.m. despite the fact I only had 4 hours of restless sleep the night before. I’ve allowed this energy to build up and now I must purge. You unlucky souls. I apologize ahead of time that my blog is backed up and my emotions once dammed up, now burst forward onto the page. Then again, I think that my blog must be two people strong in following, so Rita and Kim, I know you understand, but apologize anyway. LOL
Many questions are being hammered at me cosmically. All demanding equally of my energy, focus and time. It’s maddening. Where are those quiet days I spent lolling with my horse on the open green pasture of a warm Montana summer?
O yeah! Like the Timothy Green in the movie, they are always there. I just have to welcome them!